Getting a tan can do wonders for how someone looks, there’s little point denying it. However, that’s only if it’s a good one. Getting a shocker of a tan will single you out as an object of ridicule, and subsequently lead to you being compared to (delete as appropriate) a piece of wood, the tango man, an orange or someone who’s been strategically polished. The answer? Break out the melanotan , and do it right. Here’s how to avoid the orange:
Get a friend to help you out. Tanning is one of those things that should probably be a group activity to an extent. After all, how in the name of God are you going to reach your back otherwise? Exactly. Whilst we’re not suggesting breaking out the budgie smugglers for the blokes, a secure mate who’s prepared to help you get an even tan is gold dust. After all, it’ll be him that’s suffering when the girls are running away from his tangoed compadre all night.
Use plastic gloves. One of the best (if morbid) ways to think about the application of a fake tan is like a burglary. Under no circumstances are you to leave any evidence that you were around, and this is especially the case for fingerprints. Using plastic gloves will help you avoid smudging, and will help prevent you looking like a really questionable piece of modern art. No-one likes modern art, after all.
Use the right applicator. There are a decent amount of fake tan applicators out there to help you look bronzed, but for God’s sake seek out the right one for you. There is a definite risk of you looking like a really bad wooden oil painting otherwise, and no-one wants to go out on the town looking like an oil painting. Though it will give you the chance to call your mate the moaning Lisa, and that’s just hilarious.
